Hidan just doesn't know what went wrong!
by EpizKage
Summary: Pure crack. Hidan is alone with Deidara, Kisame, Zetsu and Sasori, and he sees some disturbing stuff.


**Do not ask where this came from, I suddenly got the idea and I'm not sure whether to be sorry for typing it up.**

The Akatsuki + MLP:FIM + a Pokemon reference.  
[I need to stop writing at night.]

**I feel as if I should warn you that this will contain insane amounts of crack, bad language, and OOC-ness, so please, don't take it seriously. :L**

**This is my attempt at crack, enjoy.**

-I do not own Naruto, MLP or Pokemon, and it's probably best for everyone's sanity that I don't.-

**-:3-**

"DEIDARA!"

No response.

"DEIDARA, WHATEVER THE HELL YOU'RE DOING, SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Again, no response.

Hidan growled, running a hand over his face and through his hair in frustration as he waited yet again for a response from the blonde boy, whose fangirling could be heard from downstairs.

The silver-haired man had been left alone in the Akatsuki hideout with Deidara, Sasori, Zetsu and Kisame while Leader and the others went grocery shopping, and he couldn't help but smirk when he remembered how Leader insisted they buy the newest flavour of poptarts.

However, his smirk soon disappeared when another fit of high-pitched giggling echoed through the living room, and, in a moment of rage, he threw the TV remote at the wall, breaking the remote and causing a small crack to form in the wall. He would have to blame Tobi's mental retardation for that.

"DAMMIT, YOU LITTLE SLUT!" Hidan screamed, jumping up and stomping upstairs - (as Tobi would say: "Hidan! You're stomping around like a dinosaur! Rawr~!") – intent on beating the living shit out of the blonde bastard for being so loud.

However, when he reached the top of the stairs, Hidan remembered how Kakuzu had threatened him with anger-management classes if he ever sent another Akatsuki member to the hospital again, and he decided to speak to Sasori first.

"SASORI YOU BITCH! OPEN THE DOOR!"

Ah, Hidan. Always the polite one.

The door opened a few seconds later to reveal the red-headed man sat alone at his desk, taking his attention away from his puppets for a second to open the door using chakra threads, lazy little shit.

"Yes, Hidan?" Sasori drawled, attaching an arm to a puppet which looked awfully similar to Itachi.

"The fuck is Deidara doing?! And where the hell are Kisame and Zetsu?!"

"They're in Deidara's room. I don't know where Zetsu is though."

"Ugh, fuck it- AAGH!" Hidan was cut off, screaming mid-sentence when Zetsu emerged from the wall, biting his shoulder and whispering about how he'd "Never eaten a Jashinist before."

"Zetsu, what've I told you about biting people?" Sasori started, his tone remaining the same as ever.

"FUCKS SAKE, SASORI! DON'T LET HIM NEAR ME! DAMMIT, I'M GONNA KILL YOU ALL ONE DAY."

And with that, Hidan slammed the door to Sasori's room, making the short journey across to the other room as loud as he possibly could, his heavy footsteps echoing throughout the hideout.

"DEIDARA!" He shouted, his eyes narrowed as he kicked repeatedly at the blonde's door, a pink "Do not disturb" sign falling to the ground as the door eventually burst open, revealing one of the most disturbing sights Hidan could ever recall.

Deidara and Kisame were sat together on Deidara's bed, their knees pulled up to their chests as they shared milkshakes and candy corn. That, surprisingly, wasn't the most disturbing thing about the whole situation.

_Oh no._

They were watching some show on Kisame's laptop, the video window taking up the whole of the screen; and Hidan could only watch in horror as six colourful _ponies_ jumped around and laughed, a small purple dragon chasing after them.

"WHAT IN JASHIN'S NAME IS THIS SHIT?!"

Deidara was the first to turn to face him, his Akatsuki cloak undone, showing a black shirt with the slogan "20% cooler" across the middle, accompanied by a picture of a blue pony with a rainbow mane.

"Aah, Hidan, uhh-"

"YOU TWO FAGS WATCH A LITTLE GIRL'S SHOW ABOUT FUCKING HORSES?!"

"Ponies." Kisame corrected him, earning himself a look of disgust.

The silver-haired man continued to watch, unable to tear his eyes from the screen as he watched a white unicorn with a purple mane talking to a rock, referring to it as "Tom".

"Heh, you like it?" Kisame questioned, his own shirt adorning the slogan "I just don't know what went wrong!" and a picture of a grey pony surrounded by muffins.

Hidan was genuinely surprised that he hadn't exploded from over-exposure to utter _bullshit._

Without a word, he left, only acknowledging his mental stability with a small groan as he stumbled away from the room, tripping over his own feet and falling down the stairs.

He didn't even care anymore.

He really couldn't give a flying fuck.

The fucks he gave had been drained when he witnessed S-Class Shinobi watching a show about ponies.

In the words he usually used when expressing his anger on his tumblr blog, he had lost ability to can.

He simply lay there, a crumpled heap at the bottom of the stairs.

It was then that he began to think back to another show that Tobi had told him to watch, a show about kids who kept little creatures in red and white containers and went around attacking one another.

A single thought crossed his mind, and that was when he truly knew that he was royally fucked.

'I wonder if I'd have witnessed shit like that if I worked for Team Rocket…'

**-:3-**

**Yeah. This should never have happened.**

**Hope you enjoyed it either way~**

**Reviews would be nice :'D**


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